The Answer may be in a Seed

My morning quiet times have been just that. 

Quiet. 

It's as though my thoughts are my prayers. 

I struggle to find  powerful words to penetrate circumstances and bring a miracle. I feel like I am coming up empty.

Jennie Allen said something today about Joseph in Genesis. You can watch the clip over on If:Equip.

She said that there was a steadiness to Joseph's life, not because it was a good life, but because he hoped in God.

How many times do I look for the steadiness in my circumstances, for choppy waves to calm a bit, only to be disappointed? It's when my perspective shifts and I take hope, that God is able to give me grace and strength and wisdom.

I wonder how long it took Joseph to shift perspective? He lived through incredible loss, betrayal, waiting, prison, promotion and loss again before he was able to see circumstances shift in his life. Even then he carried grief with him over the way he longed for things to be.

And if he had been a woman and a mother, would it have taken longer?

I think of another message I heard recently by Bill Johnson. (You can listen on the iBethel app- "The Unusual Victory.) Toward the end of his message, Bill made a statement that has stayed with me. 

"Often God will give his answers in the form of a seed." 

God is about process, journey, trust. Bravery in the face of fears. Sowing the small seed, which is in my hand, because it's all that I have.

My daughter wrote a post at the end of last year that has lingered in my heart. It was brave and honest and vulnerable. She called it Weathered Stripes.  She shares how her daughter with autism teaches her to be brave every day. She shares her fears, her struggles, a piece of her story.

My story intersects with hers. We are mother and daughter and granddaughter. Our lives are intertwined. 

There is another whose story is being written. God holds the scripts to our lives in his huge hands with his even bigger heart overflowing love and grace in His story toward us. 

This was Joseph's hope. This is mine.

I stand on tiptoe in prayer today, stretching my faltering faith to catch a glimpse beyond the fence of human ways of thinking. To witness the glory of God here on earth, hidden for our discovery and delight. Seldom does He appear the way we think, but always in love and restoration and season.

My prayer is for eyes to see You today Lord. Or at least to see the seed in my hand.

Altars and Intentions

Abram had become very wealthy... from the Negev, he went from place to place, until he came to Bethel,... where he first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord.

Genesis 13 NIV

Back to the place where he first built an altar.

The words stirred in me.

I think about the early years in my walk of faith. Building an altar for me went hand in hand with surrendering to God.

Although most of what I feel when I look back are the constant struggles, I wonder if what the Lord sees are all the little altars I built along the way.

As I drank my tea this morning, I listened to Jeremy Pearsons on BVOV speak about rest, restoration and renewal. Whispers of wisdom breathe peace over me. 

It doesn't mean that I won't go to the gym or clean my house or work on projects. Simply put, I will move through these ordinary days slowly, on the inside. 

January intentions:

Slowly renew.

Meditation in my heavenly garden.

Listen for wisdom.

Lines Falling in Fresh Places

Snow is softly falling on this quiet Sunday morning. I have been up since 5:30, which is unusual for me on the weekend.  For the first time since Christmas morning, I awoke looking forward to my day. I must be feeling better. The virus I contracted a week ago had knocked me off my feet.

unscripted

I am writing about my OLW again today but this time as my first post over on Fearless Lines. I have joined a collaboration of creative, courageous women where once a week I will share a piece of my story. I am excited and I must admit to a bit of nerves in joining this talented group of younger women.

Sometimes it takes a simple change to spark fresh life. After writing my post,  I turn on the red tea kettle to boil and place last night's supper dishes in the dishpan with fresh sudsy water. Then I begin preparations for a crockpot soup we will enjoy later. All the while I am facing my kitchen window, watching the snow fall.

Suddenly an urge to go outside with my camera takes hold on me. Why not? I pull my old brown boots over my pajamas and bundle quickly into warm coat and hat. Leaving my gloves behind for the sake of taking photos, I slip out into the powdery snow.

There's nothing out of the ordinary to photograph so I focus on the ordinary - my house that I love, the twinkle lights still sparkling in the gray of morning, snow on my boots, clothesline still holding  summer pins.

It's all so beautiful today.

Gratitude fills me for these moments. It is the commonplace that one misses when life goes off kilter. Indistinct at the time, but precious in retrospect. 

Today my treasures glimmer. 

One of my favorite quotes is by T.S. Eliot. 

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

I am knowing this place for the first time in 2015 and can't help but wonder what lies ahead.

unscripted

unscripted

I entered the new year in a bit of a fog after struggling with a miserable cold for a week. I've entered the coughing stage now so hopefully it is nearly over. I had all sorts of blog plans for the last week in 2014 - favorite posts, books, pics etc. Life happens and our plans shift. My head was too stuffy to form thoughts for a blog post.

Thus I begin 2015 with my one little word- unscripted. I must admit to being a bit nervous about this word. What exactly does this mean? I like scripts, plans, goals. I like to know where I'm going and how I'm getting there.

I had another word all picked out. Then the week of Christmas my granddaughter was showing me the books she was reading and guess what the title of one of them was? You guessed it. 

unscripted

The word hit me with a force but even then I tried to move away from it. I shared it with my daughter and was sure she would choose to use it. No such luck

 I opened a daily calendar which was a last minute purchase that I intended to give as a gift. 

"She would lay her pen down and do what she should've done a year ago. Let God be the Author."

                                                                                                                  Karen Kingsbury

Would you say that falls in the category of unscripted?

 I googled the word. I found a really interesting article about a man who writes scripts for unscripted reality shows. He makes the point that even though there are hours of film needing to be edited, someone has to pull together a story from all the events. Something about that struck a cord with me.

I am living my real life every day but God is writing my story. Hmmm. I have to ponder this.

Needless to say, I have no idea where this is all going. I do have a few goals in mind for this year but I have a feeling there's a story already forming behind the scenes that I don't have the script for.

December Hodgepodge

I thought it was a great idea to record a memorable moment each day of December but it never quite got off the ground. I joined #DecemberReflections on Instagram and it's been a challenge to keep up with that.

The weather in northern Maine has been a roller coaster since the first week of November when we were hit with two major snowstorms. Since then we have had a snowstorm per week and rain that followed. As you can see some of the days were cold but I bundled up accordingly.

This is one of my favorite moments this month. A hug from her dad helped a rough day become bearable. Love that I caught this in a photo.

I have been busy making Christmas gifts but won't go into details because someone might be listening :) but its been fun.

This is my favorite photo of the month, taken by my daughter when they were getting their Christmas tree. Lily loves Christmas. Can you tell? Pure joy!

My favorite blogpost this month thus far was also posted by my daughter. Regret is the topic and I really would like to write a response, if I can sit down and actually take the time. Its worth a couple minutes to read over here.

Lastly I loved decorating my Christmas tree this year. Hubby and I went to the lot and he picked it out. I lovingly added each ornament containing sentimental value. I am sitting here with my laptop enjoying its twinkling lights.

So there you have it, a quick look at some of my moments thus far this month.

Month of Moments

Christ comes small, the micro-macro-miracle 

who comes in the whisper and says, Seek Me. 

Ann Voskamp

Slipping out of bed at 5:30 this morning, I could feel the anticipation in my spirit of this day. Advent- Day One. I'd never paid much attention to advent, other than the lighting of candles at church each Sunday leading up to Christmas. I had to look up the word "advent" in the dictionary to understand why I was feeling this way. 

advent- the coming or arrival of something extremely important

Simple definition holding great meaning.

I plugged in my twinkle lights in the dark before dawn and gathered my Bible, journal and Ann Voskamp's book, "The Greatest Gift." It's a book of daily readings for Advent. 

"Advent, it is made of the moments."

That's it! 

The moments. 

A month of moments. 

Moments filled with grace. 

Moments anointed with Presence.

A month of His Glory.

Our lives are made up of moments. we know this yet we rush through them without a breath taken or a thank you breathed.

Will you join me this advent season in noticing? Breathing in, un-rush me, breathing out. See the glimpse of glory?

Use your camera, your pen, your art, your music, your form of noticing and capture the moments with me this month. Note them here or on Instagram with hashtag #monthofmoments.

Landing in Grace

Light is breaking out across my paths. Job 22 the Voice translation 

Sunday morning we skipped church in favor of a trip to the gym and breakfast together. As we were stopped at a light, I noticed a flock of birds flying back and forth from one rooftop to another. I grabbed my trusty iPhone and snapped a photo. Something about that scene connected with my spirit.

Life is a journey, never stationery. For the past two years now, the waters of this life have been rough at times, carrying me along, causing me to lose a sense of control and direction. Dare I say the waters have quieted and this ship has landed for a time? 

Sometimes what begins as a journey in one direction takes a totally different turn and we land where we never expected. The good thing about a life surrendered to Jesus is that we can trust that He had a plan all along.

I've landed in grace. That's what makes it all good.

So here we are at the close of November and nearly the end of the year. November 24th to be exact. Hubby and I have been married forty-five years today. He had a great checkup last week with the cardiologist. Our families are healthy and doing well. I am grateful. 

 I know all too well that life can change quickly. I write in my journal today from the Psalms.

"My heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."

Give me an undivided heart Lord, purified and steadfast in your grace.