Surrendering Every Moment

God does great things with surrendered people. And surrender happens every day in one thousand small moments. ~Jennie Allen, "Restless"

Those words stuck in my mind like velcro. I felt like one of those small bouncy balls, here I go, there I go. Bounce, bounce, bounce. By Thursday, frustration was getting the best of me. Then I remembered Jennie's quote and I surrendered. I surrendered via pen to page in my journal, giving God every past moment of three days focused on interruptions and shortfalls. 

The simple movement of faith shifted me in the direction of gratitude. What were the positives of my week thus far? 

*my workout with Kate on Monday * last meeting completing six weeks of Bible study as a teacher and host *praying while doing stretching exercises *blogging linkup with COMPEL *encouraging a friend *writing even when I didn't reach my goal *creating a Facebook group for my study circle * reading Lynn Austin's "Keeper of the Covenant," which is worthy of a post in itself *telephone chat with my oldest granddaughter, always a joy!

The following three days presented their own difficulties. Hubby and I needed to open our camper because our next two weekends already bore heavy schedules. This meant traveling three hours one way, lots of packing, cleaning, lugging etc. An allergic food reaction of some sort slammed my body. This together with my allergy problems in our camper made every task feel like slogging through thick mud. 

In the midst of my swampy thoughts and physical predicament, my littlest granddaughter came to visit.  We decided to take a walk while Grampy washed the camper, keeping her little fingers off the hose. Lily's focused delight  captured my full attention, as she picked handfuls of tiny flowers to put in her wagon. 

Our lives are made up of thousands of moments each day, waiting to be fully experienced with all of our senses.

As a young mother, I lost memories in the making to busyness and perfectionism, things that didn't matter. Spring and fall cleaning in themselves took weeks to complete.Women prided themselves in the completion of endless tasks during these seasons. Every wall must be washed down, floors spit-shined, each piece of furniture perfectly polished, curtains sparkling white. Who even does this anymore? 

I surrender those thousands of moments over and over to God, begging his help to smell, taste, touch, hear and see his presence in my present life.

Slowly, I bend over, grabbing a handful of flowers spread before my feet rather than trampling them without a glance as I steamroll through preconceived plans and fading competitions.

My holy pause makes space for the greatness of God.

Lines Falling in Fresh Places

Snow is softly falling on this quiet Sunday morning. I have been up since 5:30, which is unusual for me on the weekend.  For the first time since Christmas morning, I awoke looking forward to my day. I must be feeling better. The virus I contracted a week ago had knocked me off my feet.

unscripted

I am writing about my OLW again today but this time as my first post over on Fearless Lines. I have joined a collaboration of creative, courageous women where once a week I will share a piece of my story. I am excited and I must admit to a bit of nerves in joining this talented group of younger women.

Sometimes it takes a simple change to spark fresh life. After writing my post,  I turn on the red tea kettle to boil and place last night's supper dishes in the dishpan with fresh sudsy water. Then I begin preparations for a crockpot soup we will enjoy later. All the while I am facing my kitchen window, watching the snow fall.

Suddenly an urge to go outside with my camera takes hold on me. Why not? I pull my old brown boots over my pajamas and bundle quickly into warm coat and hat. Leaving my gloves behind for the sake of taking photos, I slip out into the powdery snow.

There's nothing out of the ordinary to photograph so I focus on the ordinary - my house that I love, the twinkle lights still sparkling in the gray of morning, snow on my boots, clothesline still holding  summer pins.

It's all so beautiful today.

Gratitude fills me for these moments. It is the commonplace that one misses when life goes off kilter. Indistinct at the time, but precious in retrospect. 

Today my treasures glimmer. 

One of my favorite quotes is by T.S. Eliot. 

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

I am knowing this place for the first time in 2015 and can't help but wonder what lies ahead.

Girl Talk Makes the Grade

This is how I felt about the fourth of July - off kilter. The fifth and sixth weren't much better, as I posted last night. Today, however, was a turnaround day. Yay! No fireworks, just gentle movement.

I did what I said I was going to do last night. I journaled and read a bit in my encouraging books and went to sleep listening to a message from KCM on my iPod.

This morning I gathered my Bible and journal and pens and devotionals and a few books and my tea and settled into my chair for a couple of hours of stillness and regrouping. I listened, I wrote, I read, sensing my thoughts shifting.

Later on in the day, my friend Barbie came over and we shared vacation stories and concerns and we prayed together. We parted with smiles on our faces and fresh resolves to do better in a few areas such as gratitude and  taking it easy on our hubbies. Oh, how thankful they must be that we have each other! :)

My foot is feeling better. I was soaking my foot as Barbie and I talked. I told her we had just experienced a spiritual Epsom Salts soak via sharing. The soreness and and any lingering bad stuff literally drew away from us. I love my online groups and texts and emails with friends, but there's nothing like a face-to-face girl talk session to make a gal feel better.

Miss Pouty Princess

My daughter sent this picture to me  and I cracked up laughing. Notice the crown on Lily's head as she waits for her time out to end. Our pouty princess.

I can relate. This "time out" in my life is getting old.

My frustration levels grew this morning as I contemplated how I would get across our icy driveway to the car to go have my mammogram, which I had already cancelled three times. I have enough problems navigating on crutches in the house. Why am I constantly dropping things when it takes so much energy to bend over and pick it up?
Hubby's only backup, his brother fell on the ice yesterday and cracked a rib. This changes his flexibility to help me.  Would he be able to take me?

 And I stubbornly ignored my gratitude journal this morning.

Above is the scene as Hubby did drive me to town - dreary, dirty snow, rain. I arrived for my mammogram appointment without mishap.

Here is my gratitude list for today after all:

My cough is nearly gone. 

I am able to use crutches. It could have been worse.

I have a patient husband.

It's warm outside and the roads are clear.

Frustration level back down.

Lily still makes me laugh, even when I can't be there!

iPhone photos and facetime! I love them.

Pouty Princess.

I hope God is chuckling over me, like I did with Lily.

Blue Skies and Lily Walks