Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Glorious Fall Living

September gave us glorious summer-like days, making up for our cold June. The leaves are slow to turn color, bees hum amongst my flowers impeding my shutter- painting project, and women wearing shorts on cooler days cause me to shiver. My own denial keeps me slipping into sandals, avoiding warmer footwear. 

Nevertheless, a few nights of heavy frost remind me autumn is here. Golden sunsets hover over stacked hay and dusty spirals swirl as harvesters dig potatoes from the ground. I, too, enter the rhythm of the season, cutting back plants and completing outdoor projects such as washing windows and planting a few bulbs.

Today, rain beats steadily on the windows, reminding me to update my neglected blog. I clicked on my COMPEL training site for writers and completed the lessons in 401 and 501. Pulling a gray sweater over my head, I settled in to read over the completed chapters of my book, wondering where to go from here. Does writing a book usually take this long?

Tomorrow quietness will turn into a flurry of activity. Mom will stay here while her car undergoes an oil change. I have an appointment in the afternoon to take my brother to fill out an application for an apartment. Fingers crossed. 

The novel I'm reading beckons to me from across the room. Many things compete for my blogging time these days.  I try. I really do but my heart is not in it. For now, check with me on Instagram and I will post occasionally but life begs to be enjoyed, not always written about.

Friday, September 11, 2015

What Really Matters

"Listen for God's Voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. 
He's the One who will keep you on track." 
Proverbs 3:6 MSG

I spent decades trying to do the "right thing." 

Be the perfect Christian, serve Jesus, make sure all my ducks were in a row.

Dr. Phil would insert a question here. How did that work for you?

It didn't.

I loved Jesus and spent time with him, but he had competition. The church's pressure, my perfectionistic tendencies and a bunch of wrong thinking all rolled up in a big snowball, constantly kept me rolling away from him, arms and legs flailing.

Those days are behind me for which I am eternally grateful. Now and then the "I shoulds" show up to keep life interesting.

Like this week. The Beth Moore simulcast is tomorrow. Of course, I'm going, I told myself. 

"Pencil me in," I told my friends.

 Why the pencil? A combination of other responsibilities and a nagging unsettled feeling.

All week I waffled back and  forth. I'm going. I'm having a gathering at home. I'll watch it on my own.

Meanwhile, my brother shared his excitement with me about his first table at the Trash and Treasure show. A big indoor flea market basically. The stack of books on my porch had been growing all summer as I sorted and reluctantly at times prepared a stash for his table. Yesterday I helped him take his books over and set up for Saturday. This entailed several trips up and down stairs to his second floor apartment lugging bags and boxes of books. 

I definitely did my part. Mom could help him Saturday morning with the selling part, giving change etc. I was going to Beth Moore. Then Mom made a statement as we were setting up.

" I get a bit nervous giving change. There are so many people in the morning."

My heart sank. But I knew. I'd been hearing God's quiet voice all week. 

Following God doesn't look like what it used to for me. There was a time I wouldn't have questioned going to the simulcast. The last few years I've changed. I've heard the cry of the one who falls through the cracks, unnoticed, unloved, unheard. 

Once you hear the cry of a single heart in need, truly hear it, you can never go back.

This may look like a simple sale table to me, but it means a lot more to my brother. 

Thus it needs to matter to me.

A couple of weeks ago, the Lord impressed these words upon me. 

"You matter to Me. What matters to you, matters to Me."

I want to be like Him. I want the people in my path to know they matter. 

I know the heart of Jesus a little better these days and I know he loves each one sheep deeply. 

Lord, help me to help you love here on earth in my small, chosen plot of ground. I'm sure Beth would say Amen to that.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

By the Sea

The first week of September has been hectic, blessed and beautiful weather. Just stopping in to let you know I'm here. Actually here is Bar Harbor for the long weekend. Be back soon!