The Answer may be in a Seed

My morning quiet times have been just that. 

Quiet. 

It's as though my thoughts are my prayers. 

I struggle to find  powerful words to penetrate circumstances and bring a miracle. I feel like I am coming up empty.

Jennie Allen said something today about Joseph in Genesis. You can watch the clip over on If:Equip.

She said that there was a steadiness to Joseph's life, not because it was a good life, but because he hoped in God.

How many times do I look for the steadiness in my circumstances, for choppy waves to calm a bit, only to be disappointed? It's when my perspective shifts and I take hope, that God is able to give me grace and strength and wisdom.

I wonder how long it took Joseph to shift perspective? He lived through incredible loss, betrayal, waiting, prison, promotion and loss again before he was able to see circumstances shift in his life. Even then he carried grief with him over the way he longed for things to be.

And if he had been a woman and a mother, would it have taken longer?

I think of another message I heard recently by Bill Johnson. (You can listen on the iBethel app- "The Unusual Victory.) Toward the end of his message, Bill made a statement that has stayed with me. 

"Often God will give his answers in the form of a seed." 

God is about process, journey, trust. Bravery in the face of fears. Sowing the small seed, which is in my hand, because it's all that I have.

My daughter wrote a post at the end of last year that has lingered in my heart. It was brave and honest and vulnerable. She called it Weathered Stripes.  She shares how her daughter with autism teaches her to be brave every day. She shares her fears, her struggles, a piece of her story.

My story intersects with hers. We are mother and daughter and granddaughter. Our lives are intertwined. 

There is another whose story is being written. God holds the scripts to our lives in his huge hands with his even bigger heart overflowing love and grace in His story toward us. 

This was Joseph's hope. This is mine.

I stand on tiptoe in prayer today, stretching my faltering faith to catch a glimpse beyond the fence of human ways of thinking. To witness the glory of God here on earth, hidden for our discovery and delight. Seldom does He appear the way we think, but always in love and restoration and season.

My prayer is for eyes to see You today Lord. Or at least to see the seed in my hand.

Embracing the Mystery of God

Instead we speak the wisdom of God, hidden in a mystery, that God determined before the ages for our glory. 1 Corinthians 2:7 NET

For years I struggled with the tension between who I knew God to be from his Word and the experiences of life challenges. Jesus the Healer walked the pages of the Scriptures, but sickness and disease ravaged those around me and chronic illness became my daily companion. I've heard all the arguments, studied the writings of scholars old and new, strived to find that place of faith. 

Then one day I heard Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, California say a few wise words on the subject of unexplained suffering.  One line captured my heart.

"I attribute it to the mystery of God." 

God's wisdom is hidden in mystery, creating a divine tension which pulls me away from reasoning to surrender. My vision moves from the God-Image I have created in my mind to the God who dynamites the sides out of the box Ive kept him in. I have a choice to make. Surrender to the mystery or remain in the struggle.

My hands open wide, releasing everything to him.

 Daily.

Divine tension is displayed in the Lord's Prayer.

"Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name."

 He is our Abba Father, our loving God but he is still to be revered and held in high esteem.

"Give us this day our daily bread."

Our eternal Creator, to whom time is endless, no beginning or ending, except in Him, gave us this prayer. Ask for your daily provision. He knew we could handle no more than one day at a time.

The God who judges nations has the heart of a shepherd. A mystery indeed!

Do I want anything less?  Would I want a God that I could figure out, that I could control? If that were the case, he would be a mere idol, shaped by man. Man doesn't have the greatest track record so the answer is clear-cut when I look at it through a lens untainted by earthly thinking.

Each morning this month, I worship with Deuteronomy 6. "The LORD our God, the LORD is One."

Hands open to surrender and embrace.

According to 1 Corinthians 2:7, God determined this for our glory. Ours not His. Now that is another mystery.