Lines Falling in Fresh Places

Snow is softly falling on this quiet Sunday morning. I have been up since 5:30, which is unusual for me on the weekend.  For the first time since Christmas morning, I awoke looking forward to my day. I must be feeling better. The virus I contracted a week ago had knocked me off my feet.

unscripted

I am writing about my OLW again today but this time as my first post over on Fearless Lines. I have joined a collaboration of creative, courageous women where once a week I will share a piece of my story. I am excited and I must admit to a bit of nerves in joining this talented group of younger women.

Sometimes it takes a simple change to spark fresh life. After writing my post,  I turn on the red tea kettle to boil and place last night's supper dishes in the dishpan with fresh sudsy water. Then I begin preparations for a crockpot soup we will enjoy later. All the while I am facing my kitchen window, watching the snow fall.

Suddenly an urge to go outside with my camera takes hold on me. Why not? I pull my old brown boots over my pajamas and bundle quickly into warm coat and hat. Leaving my gloves behind for the sake of taking photos, I slip out into the powdery snow.

There's nothing out of the ordinary to photograph so I focus on the ordinary - my house that I love, the twinkle lights still sparkling in the gray of morning, snow on my boots, clothesline still holding  summer pins.

It's all so beautiful today.

Gratitude fills me for these moments. It is the commonplace that one misses when life goes off kilter. Indistinct at the time, but precious in retrospect. 

Today my treasures glimmer. 

One of my favorite quotes is by T.S. Eliot. 

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

I am knowing this place for the first time in 2015 and can't help but wonder what lies ahead.

Changing My One Little Word

It's funny how God works, never like I think. This is Easter Sunday evening and it hasn't been our typical Easter. Looking back over the  years, Easter has been marked by sunrise services, in younger years home to see the kids hunt for their baskets and get ready for morning service. If you asked me to tell you my favorite Easter sermon I can't. As a matter of fact, the one Easter that sticks in my memory I didn't go to church at all. That was a day that God taught me about forgiveness and the true meaning of Easter. 

Today was another non-typical Easter. We didn't attend church, although I had planned to do so, Instead I fixed a nice noon meal of salmon and salad while Hubby welded a trailer that had to be repaired unexpectedly. Then we went to the theater to see the movie, "Heaven is for Real." I read the book, but the movie touched me deeply. 

Spoiler Alert: I am about to give away a line at the end that nearly caused me to sob. 

"He (God) crushed my pride and opened my heart."

I know what that feels like.

That brings me to share my decision to change my "one little word" for 2014. I had chosen the word "Here" for this year and it has helped to keep me grounded and centered, but its never felt quite right. When I read the preface for Brene Brown's book, "The Gifts of Imperfecion", there was one word that kept calling to me. I read those seven pages three times over and every time I felt the same pull. Now I know what it means to have my word choose me. I've said this before about books I have read- I choose some and then their are those that choose me. 

Wholehearted chose me. I have been praying a prayer every day for a few weeks prior to picking up Brene's book. 

"Lord, give me an undivided heart."

One day while praying this prayer, I realized that this would mean being wholehearted.

Even though we are four months into the year 2014, I know this is right for me.

I am not certain all that it will look like to be wholehearted, but I know that it will mean being open, real, and brave enough to trust myself.

"The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." Brene' Brown

I wrote in the margin: "I've been hitting mine for years."

What will it take for me to live this life of wholeheartedness? I am not sure but I intend to find out.

Desire to Fly

I keep wondering if I made a mistake in choosing HERE for my "one little word 2014." Everywhere I turn I run into the word FLY.  I ponder the word for awhile. Something in me wants to believe it is possible, but then I move over to the word already chosen - HERE - and I feel grounded, steadied, sure.

Is there a longing in the human heart to fly that never goes away? God didn't create us with wings, yet mankind constantly seeks a way to defy gravity and move into flight. What motivated the Wright brothers to create a plane that would lift them from the earth? What drives man to fly to the moon, into unknown outer space?
If you are expecting me to share some amazing revelation at this point, I am sorry to disappoint you. All I have are questions. That's not quite true. I know one thing. If man has a strong desire that never leaves, God has placed it there for a reason, to lead us to a place or a purpose found in Him.

As a little girl, I used to dream that I was flying. I'm talking about real dreams while I was asleep. I had those dreams over and over. I mostly flew at night when no one could see me but I could see them. I felt safe and free. I can almost but not quite feel the sensation I felt in my dreams. There was nothing like it.

Then I grew up.

I am keeping HERE as my OLW, but I am not turning away from FLY. There's a seed there, planted in my heart, long buried. I will let it germinate as I live here in this place and time, my feet on solid ground for now.

Here

Here we are in 2014.  

I honestly thought this year would begin with quiet healing and a period of rest. It has been anything but, here in my life. Oh, I'm resting but not as planned. On New Year's Day I missed a few stairs, which sent me to the landing with all my weight on my heel. This in itself would have been enough but that same day I awoke with a scratchy throat that turned into a full blown furious cold. I've spent the last two nights in the recliner attempting to get rest, which a  persistent cough has interrupted. Today's scheduled surgery, which I spent the past two months planning for, is off the table.

This is what my days look like right now. 

My one little word for 2014 is HERE.

I know its very simple and perhaps a bit bland but I believe combined with last year's word OPEN. it holds great possibility. 

My new blog header is created with a beautiful photo taken by my friend and sister in prayer, 

Vicky Ghering. 

I don't know if I will blog daily or once a week, but I do want to stay connected with old friends online and make new ones this year here on wings open. Join me for the journey.