It's funny how God works, never like I think. This is Easter Sunday evening and it hasn't been our typical Easter. Looking back over the years, Easter has been marked by sunrise services, in younger years home to see the kids hunt for their baskets and get ready for morning service. If you asked me to tell you my favorite Easter sermon I can't. As a matter of fact, the one Easter that sticks in my memory I didn't go to church at all. That was a day that God taught me about forgiveness and the true meaning of Easter.
Today was another non-typical Easter. We didn't attend church, although I had planned to do so, Instead I fixed a nice noon meal of salmon and salad while Hubby welded a trailer that had to be repaired unexpectedly. Then we went to the theater to see the movie, "Heaven is for Real." I read the book, but the movie touched me deeply.
Spoiler Alert: I am about to give away a line at the end that nearly caused me to sob.
"He (God) crushed my pride and opened my heart."
I know what that feels like.
That brings me to share my decision to change my "one little word" for 2014. I had chosen the word "Here" for this year and it has helped to keep me grounded and centered, but its never felt quite right. When I read the preface for Brene Brown's book, "The Gifts of Imperfecion", there was one word that kept calling to me. I read those seven pages three times over and every time I felt the same pull. Now I know what it means to have my word choose me. I've said this before about books I have read- I choose some and then their are those that choose me.
Wholehearted chose me. I have been praying a prayer every day for a few weeks prior to picking up Brene's book.
"Lord, give me an undivided heart."
One day while praying this prayer, I realized that this would mean being wholehearted.
Even though we are four months into the year 2014, I know this is right for me.
I am not certain all that it will look like to be wholehearted, but I know that it will mean being open, real, and brave enough to trust myself.
"The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." Brene' Brown
I wrote in the margin: "I've been hitting mine for years."
What will it take for me to live this life of wholeheartedness? I am not sure but I intend to find out.
Tell me how you've liked the book. I just was introduced to Brene Brown on Tuesday of this very week by two different people in two different places! They recommended I watch her TED talks on Shame and Vulnerablitity. I had never seen them. They are fantastic. Shame has been my "thorn" all of life. Just when I feel free, it nips me and catches me unaware.
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