Divided Loyalties

Photo Credit to Amber Walker

A few weeks ago I headed to town to meet a friend for the afternoon. I got to the end of my road and realized that I'd forgotten my phone. I sat behind the wheel staring at the stop sign, pondering whether or not to turn around. I was already late for our appointed meeting time but I hadn't been parted from my phone for nearly a year and a half, night and day. When I thought about leaving it behind something akin to panic stirred inside. That's when I knew what I had to do. I turned the corner and kept on driving. There were a few strange moments but I survived.

This afternoon I read a blog post that I can't move quickly past. Alicia describes her two month withdrawal from social media, including blogs and the effect it had on her life. There were some things I couldn't relate to such as the self-questioning aspect but then she had to mention the phone. Darn. 

I thought of the moments that stretch to an hour or so spent just checking Instagram and Facebook, then another hour reading my favorite blogs. I don't begrudge that time because I really enjoy these connections, but I wonder how much energy I am expending that God may be nudging me to redirect, if only for a time.

Take for instance this morning. I nearly always check my email and perhaps Instagram after my regular prayer, Bible and journaling time. Today I didn't. I'm not even sure why not. I had a tiny nap and then I opened my laptop and pulled up my book that I had begun writing and then abandoned. The reasons for this were varied. I took a course which consumed all my writing energy and when I returned to my book, the words seemed flat. Today I knew how they fit together. Something that Sue Monk Kidd said in one of her books about all her editing while she was writing the first few chapters of her book released me, and I began to edit and rewrite until I had six solid chapters. That felt good.

So when I read Alicia's post, I thought, "What if I take the month of March (already a week in) and fast social media?"

All the reasons why not answered me. I enjoy seeing what my girls post but they have hardly been posting lately. I like the book clubs and Bible study opportunities but I have a stack of books to read and a pattern for this month in my Bible. I might miss something. I've been more off and on blogging and my readers might bale, what few there are. And some of them are friends now.

Then I thought, what if I did do this? Would my thoughts turn to my book rather than inspiration for my next blog post? Would I dig out that material and begin my quilt? Would I write those letters I've been wanting to put the pen to for months? Real honest-to-goodness letters.

The jury is out, but they are definitely in deliberation. 

I hope I haven't lost you by my lengthiness. I must wind this up and perhaps even tweet it.

 :)

Old habits are hard to break.