Holding Up the World

Five hours separate me from my brother. Five hours and years of sparse communication. He's not a big talker and we were never close, but I love him and he loves me. Love bridges the gap in our conversations but there are five hours of travel to think about. I'm talking about traveling the state of Maine in January. Snowstorm today and tomorrow diving to record low temps and another snowstorm on Monday. Tuesday the high is -5 degrees. It's difficult to leave the house and fires unattended on a day like that. Then there's the little detail that I have been sick for the entire month.

My brother will undergo open heart surgery on Tuesday, with high risk because he also has muscular dystrophy. He lives alone and is fiercely independent but this challenge is big, even for him.

This morning, before I knew for certain about the surgery, I took five minutes to look at my collage journal. I hadn't reached for Liz's poetry book in some time. As I picked it up and flipped through, I noticed a small piece of paper tucked inside. She must have placed it between the pages before sending it my way. I pulled it out and read, "you don't have to hold up the world today." Immediately I glued it on the picture in my journal of the woman holding up the world.

After receiving the call from mom about my brother this afternoon, worry kicked in. What about his apartment and bills to be paid and food left in the fridge and ...

"You don't have to hold up the world today."

A familiar whisper skimmed across my thoughts.

You can trust Me to care for him.

Snow is gently falling outside. Tomorrow the wind will turn beauty into blizzard-like conditions once again. 

 God who holds serenity of today is shelter in the storms of tomorrow.

My shoulders feel weight shift.

 Let me let go. 

 When talking to my brother last night, he made a statement that has stayed with me.

"God's will be done."

I'm a more specific kinda gal - wanting to cover all my bases kind of pray-er. But lately God is drawing me into a new season, a place of rest and trust. Unscripted prayers will carry my heart and cover the distance of miles and obstacles.

I'm grateful that my brother has returned to the faith of his teen years and uttered those words. I can think of no better ones in this moment.

Reviewing Intentions and Changing Course

At the onset of July, I wrote down a list of intentions and added practices to help me to stay focused. I must admit it was a difficult challenge in a crowded month. I've been going back over my list today and thinking about how I did overall.

 Let go and flow. 

Letting go is a daily practice for me. Journaling helps and prayer. I'm not sure how well I did with this in July, but I know I made progress in some areas.

 Receive the gift each day holds for me.

Joining a Hand to Heart group helped with this, their posts and Liz's weekly emails. Also the Instagram challenges and taking photos each day caused me to focus on the moment.

 Listen to my Life and Identify Patterns and Rhythms

I tend to push myself beyond what my body is really up to and paying for it later. I am finding that this week I am exhausted to the point that its a bit scary. July was extremely busy. I am hearing two things as I listen to my life right now, in this moment: self- care and "un-rush me, Lord" (a word Lysa Terkhurst shared.)

 Choose joy. 

For the most part, I started every day with Joel Osteens book "I Declare." This book has thirty days of affirmations. By the time I read through it each day, I was ready to choose joy.

 Be wholehearted.

Yes. I managed to fit in a little writing and a lot of reading in down time. I have a lot of work to do here. I want to choose the things that my heart is directing me to do.

Today I sat down to look through a few magazines. I only got as far as my Artful Blogging when the first words leaped off the page at me. 

"CHANGING COURSE"

I grabbed my visual journal and glued the words to the page. I know they mean something and are a signpost for the month ahead.

I would love to hear what intentions  you are setting in your life, what course you are pursuing in the days ahead. Please feel free to comment and leave a link to your blog.

Just Say Yes

This week I have been participating in 10 days of #yestothismoment over on Instagram with Liz Lamoreaux. Every day I looked forward to reading her emails where she wrote about everything from taking five deep breaths to noticing the joy all around you. Today's challenge was about writing a list of things to say yes to.

For years I focused on trying to say no because I was bombarded with needs and wants of three children, church, home, community etc. Perhaps I just needed to learn what to say yes to and the rest would have fallen into place.

That was then. What does my "yes" list look like today, right now?

• Yes to enjoying the things I love i.e. watching the Olympics with my morning tea.
• Yes to my grandkids. Some people say this is time for me, but my heart is in my family.
• Yes to my home. After 15 months away, I am loving every moment here, every book and nook and twinkle light sparkle.
• Yes to my health. I am not sure what that looks like for me but I know surgery is next and then we will see.
• Yes to new challenges and stretching. Big challenges i.e. 5K in the fall when I've been on crutches for a month and still have a sore heel. Let's take this one step at a time with step one buying new sneakers and wearing them around the house.
• Yes to precious, priceless friendships.
• Yes to gratitude, breathing deep, celebrating the little things as well as the big, prayer, tears, forgiveness, letting go, believing, and really listening.

I watched an interview that Oprah had with the CEO of Starbucks. I loved his humility, confidence, integrity and ability to stick to his core values. He shared about a time when he could see the company moving away from its roots, shifting to a profit-focused business. His vision had always been the people, the coffee, the community. "Everything matters" from a clean counter to a smile for the customer. He made a few radical decisions to pull the company back on track.

The times in my life when I've gotten off track have been those when I've moved away from my Yes, my core values.

This post is off the top of my head but I want to make the subject a regular post, with much thought and prayer. Thanks, Liz.