A Single Prayer-Drop in the Desert

Nearly six weeks have passed since my last post.

Winter continues to linger on the edges of spring. My furnace still runs to bring heat into our home as dreary clouds drop rain day after day. Both my husband and I are fighting colds.

God's waiting room begins to feel claustrophobic. (see prior post)

I ask myself, "what can I write here that anyone will want to hear?"

I have no answers.

I maintain my daily practices.

Every morning I spend with my journal and my Bible. I pray over my days and pray to maintain some sense of perspective above this earth.

I work in the office and keep my household running, take mom to lunch once a week, drive my brother for errands, and knit dishcloths to give away  while watching the Voice or Netflix with Terry in the evenings.

I know God moves in the ordinary but I know He also moves beyond.

I note His promises in a small journal, easily accessible, hope building.

"May streams of your refreshing flow over me until my dry heart is drenched again."
                                                                                                 Psalm 126:4 Passion Translation

This is my prayer.

The Power of Hope

These words greet me every morning as I sit down at my desk with my muffin and tea.

I have called you by your NAME. You are MINE.

 I open my visual  journal and write a couple of morning pages, dumping worries and distraction upon the page. Then I open my lined daily journal to prepare to hear from the Lord. I write the date and the weather and perhaps a couple sentences.

During this season of Lent, most of my writing goes in my Isaiah book from She Reads Truth. For more information, see my post here - http://wingsopen.blogspot.com/2017/02/winter-wilderness-whispers.html

Isaiah is not an easy read. I began by approaching Isaiah with the question foremost in my mind these days.

What is the heart of the Father?

Today's reading began in Isaiah 9, a familiar passage of scripture to me.

The first 7 verses stopped me in my tracks.

Having read the darkness and judgement prior, the words took on fresh meaning. Some translations rendered this passage as if it had already happened.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light."

Other translations render the words future tense.

 Holy Spirit whispered to me.

They are both.

Yes, the words are both.

Isaiah stood before the people of Israel speaking the words given to him. Were there those who reached out in faith, receiving the hope God brought from the mouth of his prophet?

Then Jesus fulfilled the words in a physical body, coming to this earth as the long awaited Messiah and our Savior. There were many who believed!

Today in 2017, I sit at my desk, reading and hearing the same words spoken, containing the same power to break oppression and lift heavy burdens from my shoulders, if I will merely believe them.

Are you sitting in gloom and darkness today? Perhaps the weight of our nation leaves you anxious and afraid? Do you carry the burden of sickness, divorce, financial difficulties or something else just as heavy for you?

God's words resound through the centuries!

He used a man, a human prophet to speak them into the earth.

God's words continue to carry the power of hope to break through every darkness. 

In the midst of rebellion and unbelief of Isaiah's day, the Father's heart remained constant Love towards his children.

Beloved of God, behold your Prince of Peace today.

 Reach out to Him, the Mighty God.

He is waiting for a tiny sliver of faith to connect to. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

Let faith move your gaze to Jesus today.

Books, Seeds and Hope as March Begins

"Maybe you've prayed and prayed for the same thing, over and over... Maybe you've wanted God's will so bad. and wanted life to look different for so long... Maybe you're feeling utterly discouraged or disappointed right now and not sure why you are surprised every time the same ol' thing keeps happening again and again... " Fervent by Priscilla Shirer

Priscilla described where I have been living over the past few years in her book Fervent. I came across the book on the (in)courage website,  their Bloom Book club pick to begin the year. 

Several years ago Bloom introduced me to Ann Voskamp's 1,000 Gifts, a life -changing event. I've read most of the books they recommended and never been steered wrong. When I saw the post about Fervent, my first reaction was I don't need another book but I checked it out and felt the pull of the Holy Spirit to order it. Three chapters later, very marked up and underlined chapters, God is doing a shifting in my heart, positioning me in hope.

I pulled out a journal and began to write my prayers along with scripture. My prayer for today after reading chapter 3:

Restore my cutting edge, Lord. Bring back my passion.

Prayer has always been my passion. Praying God's Word over my family and friends and country was my calling. Until it stopped working. At least it seemed that way. 

I didn't stop praying or reading my Bible but weariness and anxiety and a sense of my own vulnerability overshadowed my faith.

Last week I prayed, "Lord, please send a season of refreshing upon my life. A long season. "

I am adding prayers to my journal daily now, writing them down, and hoping, and believing with a tiny seed of faith.

God began growing this seed in me when I read Simply Tuesday, a very different book from Fervent, yet God has deeply touched my life through her Emily's writings.

 Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman. 

 Simply Tuesday is truly what the Kingdom of God looks like in all its beautiful simplicity, humility and love. I love this book so much. Please check it out.

I pray God places a book in your hands this week, planting new seeds of hope and faith and encouragement. If He already has feel free to share in the comments below or email me.

Heaven's Voice of Hope

"Don't get thrown off course." James 1:16 MSG

Fear has been poking his nasty head around the corners of my life.

Watching the news can be a scary practice these days. My hubby is a news buff, while I read women's blogs and Facebook posts from trusted organizations. Over the past couple of weeks, several of their voices have been ringing with wake-up calls for the Body of Christ.

I can't get Ann Voskamp's recent post out of my mind. WARNING: her post is not for the faint of heart. Her words brought the battle closer to home as my aching heart connected with women a world away.

Red flags shot up when I sensed the spirit of fear plotting an inside job. 

I bowed before the Lord.

LORD, why would you call me to dream big, to believe in the future if all that lies ahead is fear and disaster? What are you saying to me?

Proverbs 3 in the Voice Translation.

Stay focused. Do not lose sight of mercy and truth...

Rely on Him completely.

Stay calm.

He will safeguard your each and every step.

He pours out his grace on the humble.

Fear took a few steps back.

In the evening I happened across an interview with Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, California; he is a fifth generation pastor I trust and highly esteem. When asked what he wished he'd known when he first started out, Bill Johnson said he wished he had known how really good God is. He knew the goodness of God but not its vastness and depth. 

Fear's footsteps grew quiet.

I penned a prayer this morning as I pondered all the voices and messages scrolling through my mind.

LORD, you have taken great pains to get the message of your goodness into my heart. 

Anchor me in your grace.

Don't let me get sidetracked into fear by the evil of this world. Satan is accomplishing enough of that these days. I don't doubt the prophetic voices pleading for America to repent, warning of disaster to come

but

I know who You are.

You are Love.

You are Holy. 

You are grace and you've gone to great lengths to spread this gospel of good news throughout the world.

Holy Spirit, let your goodness be my focus, no matter what is happening around me.

 Position my heart in Grace. 

Let me be a vessel of hope, touching earth with heaven in days of darkness and trial.

Help me to live from the inside out!

In the midst of  fires that try faith, let Your Face rise before me. 

Let my voice spill over with hope to your world, the people you cherish more than I can know. I hear you say, as my hubby often speaks over our grandchildren:

I love you more.

Sometimes I Just Can't

I was reading Henri Nouwen's book today "Turning My Mourning into Dancing." He gives a definition for compassion from the original words meaning "to stay in the suffering." He goes on to explain that this is not giving words or directives to people but simply to suffer with them.

I find this is not always easy and sometimes impossible. I turned away from a friend this week. Not because I wanted to, but grace I needed to stay in the suffering with her ran out. I'm not proud of that, but I am acknowledging my limits. 

I, too, have suffered thus I want to be a woman of compassion.  I sense my whole being longing for joy, for relief for the ones I love. I pray for divine reversals, turnarounds, miracles. I celebrate slivers of silver linings, anything that holds forth hope

I don't know about you, but all around me, family and friends are suffering. I'm not talking about little things but big things. Cancer, difficult marriage, a child dying, fear, and hurt and rejection. There are no shortcuts through these things. They have to be walked out, often while broken. My heart guides me, each woman whose arm I slip through mine by holding her up in prayer whether by phone or in person, touched in some small way.

I pray for the limitless God to be seen through my limited life. I feel weights lift as I acknowledge that I cannot stay in the suffering with my friend, but I know the One who will. He says to me, "It's okay."

It is better to admit this than to try to rescue her with my advice, to move her before she is ready. Too late this time for such wisdom but I am learning.

I pick up Brene Brown's book, The Art of Imperfection. She is writing of compassion, too. 

"Compassionate people are boundaried people." 

After witnessing so much hurt this past year, I wanted to always be a healer, always reaching out, never turning from a need. I am finding that this is not possible. I am imperfect. I am weary. I am in need of healing and grace myself. Even Jesus rested and got alone and I am far from being Him.

Just as I type these words, a text comes through from a close friend at the end of her rope. I simply say that I love her and will utter a prayer.

I lift my eyes from the keyboard to my window where the sun is shining in and I remember to be grateful for all that I am blessed with in this moment. I must count gifts to survive. I smile and there is hope.