The Woman I Am, According to God

The knitting pattern may as well been written in Greek. I couldn't see how to move into the next step of narrowing the heel. You Tube holds all the latest how-to methods but my pattern belonged to my best friend's grandmother and I could find nothing even close to it.

I'm a visual person. Show me how, let me try it and we're off to to success.  My friend, Pam, who lives hours away, attempted to describe the process via phone but I simply couldn't see it!

Several years ago, I attended a Women's Conference where the speaker made an unusual statement to me. She said when she looked at me, she saw faith all over me, which had never happened to her before. I mumbled a reply, but quickly dismissed her words, which sounded foreign to my ears. She must have the wrong woman.

My spirit, however, didn't banish her words so easily. God spoke to my heart one day and told me He wanted me to begin to see myself differently. 

"I want you to start saying these words."

I am a woman of faith, standing on victory ground, with weapons of righteousness in my right hand and my left, covered in the Blood of Jesus.

His words resounded inside of me with clarity but it's what He impressed upon me next that left me reeling.

And I want you to see it when you say it.

For a solid year, every day I closed my eyes and spoke the words, picturing myself as Jesus instructed.

Over time an amazing thing occurred. I started to believe the words I spoke and the inner image of myself changed little by little.

In years to come, when storms raged over my life and devastated my faith, the image kept its grasp on me. When all I could see was the fragility of my faith, God saw a totally different picture and He held me fast.

Hebrews 11:1 states that our "faith is the evidence of things unseen." By faith the men of old established a testimony. 

Bible faith looked like strength to me. I thought if I had Bible faith, I would sail through storms on the wings of peace. Instead my experience took me deeper into weakness, contradicting my human definitions of what it looked like to be a woman of faith.

I recalled one of  Beth Moore's teachings. 

In the kingdom of God, the way up is down.

As my weakness grew more evident, what I couldn't see were the roots growing deep into my relationship with a powerful, loving God. What I didn't understand is sometimes faith means not giving up, when everything in me is screaming for release. When I couldn't see God, He never lost sight of me.

What I couldn't see was the inner process,  God molding me into a woman of faith - His way.

When I couldn't make sense of the pattern, I learned to trust Christ himself, the designer and originator of my faith. He established His testimony in my life. 

 Daily surrender to His vision was building my faith.

What I couldn't see, He could.

My Week in Review

Spring entered the County slowly, shivering and windy, but Sunday morning dawned glorious. I love Spring! Read more over on Fearless Lines today. 

The first week in June was not without life's challenges. I pressed hard into my spiritual practices, reading the scriptures and devotionals, prayer and writing morning pages in my journal. Getting out in the dirt, planting and babying my flowers is my greatest spiritual practice in Spring.

I admit to neglecting my daily visual journal, but I spent a couple hours thoroughly enjoying cutting and pasting images. I'm always amazed how the finished pages reflect my inner woman.

Yesterday Hubby and I spent much of our Saturday visiting yard sales. Our oldest granddaughter is moving into her own place and we were on a treasure hunt for her.

Sadly my book took a back seat to family issues. I managed an hour on my laptop before being called away; my intention this coming week is to set two days aside devoted to writing. 

I am excited about some new ventures this summer. I can't wait to share more with you later in the week. 

Playing in My Visual Journal Tonight

I attempt to write a substantial blogpost on Sunday and Wednesday each week. Anything extra is a treat! Tonight the choice was tough - blog or work in my visual journal. Guess what won out?  Here's a peek in my creative corner before I dug out all my supplies. 

Favorite May Moments

My best friend is here visiting and I want to spend today with her so my usual Sunday post will be abbreviated. I am sharing my favorite photos from the month of May.

Honoring Those Passed, Celebrating Life

A Surprise Guest at My Garden Hop

I tried my hand at making a video for  Jamie Ridler's Garden Hop. I thought I had it mastered but when I tried to post it, much to my dismay, there was no sound. Maybe next time.

Here's a photo of a few of my seedlings going in the ground this week. This is my first try at planting seedlings so fingers crossed

It's been a cold and windy spring here in northern Maine, but a few perennials are showing signs of life.

My first perennial to show her blossoms this year.

These are the same perennials covered with snow on Saturday morning!

Here is my little wet and shivering visitor who perched outside my kitchen window all morning until the snow stopped. I think the eaves above offered protection from the storm. 

This isn't the post I planned but hope you enjoyed a sneak peek at my garden.

Heaven's Voice of Hope

"Don't get thrown off course." James 1:16 MSG

Fear has been poking his nasty head around the corners of my life.

Watching the news can be a scary practice these days. My hubby is a news buff, while I read women's blogs and Facebook posts from trusted organizations. Over the past couple of weeks, several of their voices have been ringing with wake-up calls for the Body of Christ.

I can't get Ann Voskamp's recent post out of my mind. WARNING: her post is not for the faint of heart. Her words brought the battle closer to home as my aching heart connected with women a world away.

Red flags shot up when I sensed the spirit of fear plotting an inside job. 

I bowed before the Lord.

LORD, why would you call me to dream big, to believe in the future if all that lies ahead is fear and disaster? What are you saying to me?

Proverbs 3 in the Voice Translation.

Stay focused. Do not lose sight of mercy and truth...

Rely on Him completely.

Stay calm.

He will safeguard your each and every step.

He pours out his grace on the humble.

Fear took a few steps back.

In the evening I happened across an interview with Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, California; he is a fifth generation pastor I trust and highly esteem. When asked what he wished he'd known when he first started out, Bill Johnson said he wished he had known how really good God is. He knew the goodness of God but not its vastness and depth. 

Fear's footsteps grew quiet.

I penned a prayer this morning as I pondered all the voices and messages scrolling through my mind.

LORD, you have taken great pains to get the message of your goodness into my heart. 

Anchor me in your grace.

Don't let me get sidetracked into fear by the evil of this world. Satan is accomplishing enough of that these days. I don't doubt the prophetic voices pleading for America to repent, warning of disaster to come

but

I know who You are.

You are Love.

You are Holy. 

You are grace and you've gone to great lengths to spread this gospel of good news throughout the world.

Holy Spirit, let your goodness be my focus, no matter what is happening around me.

 Position my heart in Grace. 

Let me be a vessel of hope, touching earth with heaven in days of darkness and trial.

Help me to live from the inside out!

In the midst of  fires that try faith, let Your Face rise before me. 

Let my voice spill over with hope to your world, the people you cherish more than I can know. I hear you say, as my hubby often speaks over our grandchildren:

I love you more.