Soul Congestion - Part 2

Sit with the tension.

In yoga, one of the keys is to sit with the tension. Don't be in a hurry to go to the next move. Let the stretching work its magic.

"We have all winter to work on those things." A friend quipped in reply to my frustration with not being able to get into a project.

Am I in too much of a hurry?

Last night when I was writing part one of this post,  I kept pondering two words.

Soul congestion. 

How could I clear my mind, will and emotions from the tentacles of regret, planning and the feeling of too little time for all I want to do?

At 4:00 a.m. these words floated to the top of my mind. 

Sit with the tension. Sink into it. Stop fighting your life with all its interruptions and people stuff.

Is that the same as letting go? 

Is it simple trust?

Trust in myself. Trust in God. Trust in the process.

Soul Congestion - Part 1

                                               

Three a.m. finds me in my green chair holding a cup of sleepy time tea and my iPad.  I tried to stay in bed, tossing and turning for hours, attempting to move away from hubby's coughing and snoring, due to his cold. 

I rubbed arnica on my aching back muscles, popped a Tylenol and listened to podcasts in my earbuds. None of the usual help-me-sleep aids worked. Finally I got out of bed and cranked up the thermostat.  I worked on a few yoga stretches to ease tight muscles.

A mere seven days has passed since a friend took the above photo. The morning was crisp and clear and autumn was exploding with color. A morning of perfect freedom.

Since that day  I spent hours traveling, sleeping in hotel rooms, eating unfriendly foods and easing my way through emotional issues and responsibilities. 

The problems in my body reflect the deeper issues of my soul. 

I am experiencing soul congestion. 

I seriously need a detox in my body.

How does one detox her soul?

I can't seem to focus. Several projects lie in wait for me. Nagging thoughts  of Christmas, fast approaching, run circles around my mind. I'm frantically doing everything I can to avoid catching hubby's cold after spending three months last winter down and out. Losing a nights sleep certainly won't help.

Everything feels too crowded, tight and weary. 

How do I move out of this mucky place?

Journal Showdown - Take 3

Ouch!

Perfectionist tendencies grasp my arm, screaming, "Make another one! You'll get it right this time."

I am ignoring her taunts and posting my first ever video for Jamie Ridler's Journal Showdown. I'm trusting you faithful - readers- of- my- blog for grace :)

I referenced Jamie's studio with the wrong URL so here's the right one -

http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca

I need to film sideways, smile more and look in the right place. Any suggestions welcome :)

My Little Blue Book

Thanks for joining me!

Break Out the Color!

What a beautiful fall day here in northern Maine! The fog rolled in over the fields this morning with warmer temps than the past couple of frosty mornings. Most of my flowers are gone now except for a hardy few. The leaves are teasing us with color here and there, much slower than usual. I expect this week they will explode in red, orange and yellow.

I took a snack break and decided to post a quick October hello. I am digging out a few warmer clothes. Later this week we will head down to close our camper. Seasons are in full swing shift now.

With the change is seasons, my desire to quilt and knit and create with color is growing. Perhaps you love to paint, photograph or art journal. Check out the interview with my daughter over on Fearless Lines. Here is a woman with two jobs, a five-year-old with high energy, and many responsibilities. Yet she takes time to get into her art room. Please stop over to Fearless Lines and read the interview. You will be inspired.

Take time to enjoy nature's beauty today or create some of your own and drop a comment to let me know.

Glorious Fall Living

September gave us glorious summer-like days, making up for our cold June. The leaves are slow to turn color, bees hum amongst my flowers impeding my shutter- painting project, and women wearing shorts on cooler days cause me to shiver. My own denial keeps me slipping into sandals, avoiding warmer footwear. 

Nevertheless, a few nights of heavy frost remind me autumn is here. Golden sunsets hover over stacked hay and dusty spirals swirl as harvesters dig potatoes from the ground. I, too, enter the rhythm of the season, cutting back plants and completing outdoor projects such as washing windows and planting a few bulbs.

Today, rain beats steadily on the windows, reminding me to update my neglected blog. I clicked on my COMPEL training site for writers and completed the lessons in 401 and 501. Pulling a gray sweater over my head, I settled in to read over the completed chapters of my book, wondering where to go from here. Does writing a book usually take this long?

Tomorrow quietness will turn into a flurry of activity. Mom will stay here while her car undergoes an oil change. I have an appointment in the afternoon to take my brother to fill out an application for an apartment. Fingers crossed. 

The novel I'm reading beckons to me from across the room. Many things compete for my blogging time these days.  I try. I really do but my heart is not in it. For now, check with me on Instagram and I will post occasionally but life begs to be enjoyed, not always written about.

What Really Matters

"Listen for God's Voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. 

He's the One who will keep you on track." 

Proverbs 3:6 MSG

I spent decades trying to do the "right thing." 

Be the perfect Christian, serve Jesus, make sure all my ducks were in a row.

Dr. Phil would insert a question here. How did that work for you?

It didn't.

I loved Jesus and spent time with him, but he had competition. The church's pressure, my perfectionistic tendencies and a bunch of wrong thinking all rolled up in a big snowball, constantly kept me rolling away from him, arms and legs flailing.

Those days are behind me for which I am eternally grateful. Now and then the "I shoulds" show up to keep life interesting.

Like this week. The Beth Moore simulcast is tomorrow. Of course, I'm going, I told myself. 

"Pencil me in," I told my friends.

 Why the pencil? A combination of other responsibilities and a nagging unsettled feeling.

All week I waffled back and  forth. I'm going. I'm having a gathering at home. I'll watch it on my own.

Meanwhile, my brother shared his excitement with me about his first table at the Trash and Treasure show. A big indoor flea market basically. The stack of books on my porch had been growing all summer as I sorted and reluctantly at times prepared a stash for his table. Yesterday I helped him take his books over and set up for Saturday. This entailed several trips up and down stairs to his second floor apartment lugging bags and boxes of books. 

I definitely did my part. Mom could help him Saturday morning with the selling part, giving change etc. I was going to Beth Moore. Then Mom made a statement as we were setting up.

" I get a bit nervous giving change. There are so many people in the morning."

My heart sank. But I knew. I'd been hearing God's quiet voice all week. 

Following God doesn't look like what it used to for me. There was a time I wouldn't have questioned going to the simulcast. The last few years I've changed. I've heard the cry of the one who falls through the cracks, unnoticed, unloved, unheard. 

Once you hear the cry of a single heart in need, truly hear it, you can never go back.

This may look like a simple sale table to me, but it means a lot more to my brother. 

Thus it needs to matter to me.

A couple of weeks ago, the Lord impressed these words upon me. 

"You matter to Me. What matters to you, matters to Me."

I want to be like Him. I want the people in my path to know they matter. 

I know the heart of Jesus a little better these days and I know he loves each one sheep deeply. 

Lord, help me to help you love here on earth in my small, chosen plot of ground. I'm sure Beth would say Amen to that.

By the Sea

The first week of September has been hectic, blessed and beautiful weather. Just stopping in to let you know I'm here. Actually here is Bar Harbor for the long weekend. Be back soon!