What Really Matters

"Listen for God's Voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. 

He's the One who will keep you on track." 

Proverbs 3:6 MSG

I spent decades trying to do the "right thing." 

Be the perfect Christian, serve Jesus, make sure all my ducks were in a row.

Dr. Phil would insert a question here. How did that work for you?

It didn't.

I loved Jesus and spent time with him, but he had competition. The church's pressure, my perfectionistic tendencies and a bunch of wrong thinking all rolled up in a big snowball, constantly kept me rolling away from him, arms and legs flailing.

Those days are behind me for which I am eternally grateful. Now and then the "I shoulds" show up to keep life interesting.

Like this week. The Beth Moore simulcast is tomorrow. Of course, I'm going, I told myself. 

"Pencil me in," I told my friends.

 Why the pencil? A combination of other responsibilities and a nagging unsettled feeling.

All week I waffled back and  forth. I'm going. I'm having a gathering at home. I'll watch it on my own.

Meanwhile, my brother shared his excitement with me about his first table at the Trash and Treasure show. A big indoor flea market basically. The stack of books on my porch had been growing all summer as I sorted and reluctantly at times prepared a stash for his table. Yesterday I helped him take his books over and set up for Saturday. This entailed several trips up and down stairs to his second floor apartment lugging bags and boxes of books. 

I definitely did my part. Mom could help him Saturday morning with the selling part, giving change etc. I was going to Beth Moore. Then Mom made a statement as we were setting up.

" I get a bit nervous giving change. There are so many people in the morning."

My heart sank. But I knew. I'd been hearing God's quiet voice all week. 

Following God doesn't look like what it used to for me. There was a time I wouldn't have questioned going to the simulcast. The last few years I've changed. I've heard the cry of the one who falls through the cracks, unnoticed, unloved, unheard. 

Once you hear the cry of a single heart in need, truly hear it, you can never go back.

This may look like a simple sale table to me, but it means a lot more to my brother. 

Thus it needs to matter to me.

A couple of weeks ago, the Lord impressed these words upon me. 

"You matter to Me. What matters to you, matters to Me."

I want to be like Him. I want the people in my path to know they matter. 

I know the heart of Jesus a little better these days and I know he loves each one sheep deeply. 

Lord, help me to help you love here on earth in my small, chosen plot of ground. I'm sure Beth would say Amen to that.