Tuesday afternoon I attempted to make biscuits for the first time in two years. I used to make bread, cookies, biscuits, brownies etc. on auto-pilot. Eventually my children grew up and left home and I was forced into gluten-free eating so my baking fell by the wayside.
I wanted to do something nice for hubby this week, thus the biscuits, but I'm not so sure it worked. Oh, he said they were good, but they felt hard, a little flatter than normal and I noticed he didn't ask for more.
Fast forward to this morning. I moved my sacred time to my kitchen, spreading my Bibles, journal and study helps over the table surface. After reading my Psalms of praise and a chapter in Colossians, I felt drawn to Job. A couple friends of mine keep telling me that God is speaking to them through the book of Job. I've been resisting for all sorts of reasons. First of all, that I felt I was living in parts of it last year and then there's the teachings I've heard on Job, none of which felt right to me. I turned gingerly to Job 38 and read aloud in the New Century Version. I was mesmerized. Then I sensed a prompting to go back and read all of Job's responses throughout the book (after the initial first and second chapters).
As I read I could hear my own voice over the past three years, complaining, then questioning, arguing that I was right and after all hadn't I been following God? Then I heard my voice along with Job when he saw with eyes of faith and spoke words such as "I know that my Redeemer lives." I had those times when silver linings would shine with glimpses of grace.
What I had never seen before was Job's audacity to want to stand before God and justify himself. His idea that righteousness shields us from suffering and that his works, good that they were, should have prevented these trials. Yes, I saw myself.
God sends a man to precede him with truth, then the unfathomable, incredible Creator speaks and paints a picture for Job of the one true God. Job, who was very vocal about wanting to stand beside God and have a talk with him, speaks only six verses of response (Job 42) with a totally different attitude. Six short verses compared to chapters of words prior to this.
I am in awe.
Job's heart was changed as he beheld His creator following the darkest time of his life.
My heart has changed, too but it is a daily journey.
I am in awe.
That God - Job's God, my God- cares about my life.
Who am I?
Maker of flat biscuits.
I can almost hear Him chuckle.
I am learning that Almighty God has the heart of a Shepherd, whose heart is always restoration.
Job's story proves this in the end as God blesses his life far beyond what Job could imagine. I'm willing to bet God was smiling while pouring those blessings down.
I pray that my story will prove His heart as well.