Support Systems Go

                             

I appreciate my support systems, all the more so as life changes around me. 

Twice a week I pay a trainer to guide me in exericise and nutrition.We have shifted into yoga stretches which are perfect for my body right now. What began as a necessity for a shoulder issue has developed into a precious friendship over the years. 

On the creative side, Jamie Ridler continues to inspire me. Today she hosted an hour online forum about journaling practices. Journaling is a mainstay in my life. The workshop was a great reminder of why I keep the practice in my morning routine. I write in a simple black journal with lines every day. I love my visual journal as well, yet it is more of a monthly practice right now.

Spiritually, Beth Moore has always been an inspiration as well as BVOV network, but lately I've returned to a quieter simple Bible reading and devotional.

Emotionally I have a couple of go-to friends who live long distance. One phone call has the power to brighten my day.

On Day 4, I continue to eat healthy and return to gratitude.

Snow Day

                                

                                     Day 3- snow falling, visual journal, a bit of knitting.

On Hold

                        

Music blares from my phone on speaker as I wait on hold for the insurance company to straighten out this mess. This is Day 2 in my 21 days and only the second day we have had medical insurance after two decades without it. I've been on hold nearly 30 minutes.

On hold.

I can't tell you the years I've spent much of my life on hold, waiting to fell better, to be healed. Fighting with faith, dropping my hope and picking it up once again, over and over. Fighting with food. Should I eat this or that?

Today I received an email from a sister blogger, describing a litany of physical symptoms she and her family had experienced because of hidden mold in the house. She handed me a profound sense of validation through her words. I feel like my family dismisses my various complaints after years of chronic illness and I don't blame them. How could I explain how bad I felt physically most days? 

Thus I spent countless years adjusting my diet always hoping for a breakthrough, but deep inside sensing my problems stemmed from something more. Food sensitivities and allergies were merely a piece in the puzzle.

Where do I go from here? 

I don't have the answers today but I have permission to acknowledge the struggles I'm experiencing and rest without guilt.

   

It's Only 21 Days!

                  

(organic pea sprouts, grilled chicken (hormone free), mushrooms, apples, avocado and a tiny bit of raspberry walnut dressing)

I pulled the covers over my head, knowing I would never go back to sleep. 

February first.

The month of February loomed like a mountain in front of me, my new-year-momentum drained by a cold and reoccurring bout of acid reflux. My mind swirled with the thoughts of my busy week ahead.

Then I remembered a blog I read the day before - 21 days of eating clean.

21 days.

Somehow 21 days seemed more doable than a whole month.

21 days of eating clean. No sugar, processed foods, etc. I could do that.

I opened my email to read my daily devotional from if:equip. Just above was an email from the You Bible - 21 day devotional plan.

Okay I can do that. I have my own devotional style and rhythm but it would be good to try something new.

21 days. 

Let's see if I can blog for 21 days :)

What I learned in January That I Already Knew

1 > I'm better at striving than resting.

All of my January energies were focused on implementing practices designed to support my health. I returned to juicing, eating vegetables and fish and chicken, taking supplements like garlic and probiotics, and exercising regularly. My creative juices suffered (except in the kitchen) and my blog went completely untended. Yet determination to fight off chronic attacks of illness fueled my goals. 

Then during the night Saturday my always -stuffy-sinuses turned painful. Sunday's trip to celebrate our granddaughter's birthday became a challenge as my body succumbed to a cold. All my hard work came to a standstill as I struggled to rest. 

2 > Books are my soul food.

I've read everything Kristin Hannah has written and this is her best book ever! I couldn't put it down and sobbed at the end. My idea of a good afternoon is covering up with a blanket and escaping into the landscape of a story. I've been on a roll this month. After "The Nightingale" I read Katie Ganshert's novel " The Art of Losing Yourself" and non-fiction "Wild in the Hollow" by Amber Haines. I loved both of them. Last weekend my daughter passed me "The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend." It's a character-driven book, slow moving and a perfect read for me right now. I am throughly enjoying it.

3 > Hope pokes pinholes in discouragement and keeps me going.

A friend gave me the letters HOPE to begin my new year. I wrapped lights around them and haven't stopped needing the light it brings ever since.

January was a tough month. One friend lost her grandbaby only six months in the womb; another spiraled into deep depression. A loved one ignored my calls, hurting my heart in every rejection. Another illness taking me down weighed as heavy as the gray clouds outside my window. Yet every now and then a ray of light shone through.

4 > Remember to keep counting my blessings.

I've seen God do miracles. I want to celebrate every single one over and over again.

5 > A few people still read my blog.

Thanks Cheryl and Nancy for missing me and prompting me to post once again.

Last Week of 2015

I love the transition week after Christmas.

Hubby and I traveled to our children homes over the holiday, spending time with our five grandchildren. Once again I was fighting  physical afflictions, but joy pressed through via hugs, games, movies, good food and "just the right gifts."

We are home now and I've spent several hours in the office over the past two days, but this afternoon I picked up my knitting and watched the last Christmas movie on my DVR. I will finish reading my final Christmas book this week too. Saturday the tree with its twinkling lights will be undressed and carried away.

I set aside a few hours on Sunday to create Vision cards for the year ahead. In the past, each New Year's Eve I dug out all my goodies needed in making a dream board for the coming year. This year, I opted to begin with large index cards , mini dream boards, each depicting an area of focus for 2016. Actually I let the creative process flow but the finished cards ( there are 10) aligned with my focus areas plus two surprises.

I am pondering how much time I want to dedicate to blogging in the year ahead. As this quiet week comes to a close along with 2015, I plan to spend time looking over my goals and searching my heart for the things I value and love.

Closing 2015, many thanks go out to my few faithful blog followers. Thanks for sticking with me. Rest and regroup with me carrying a grateful heart, letting go of those unwanted weighted thoughts and unhappy memories of 2015, gathering the good ones in my arms and looking ahead with hope.

Falling Stars

I found this card from my daughter on the floor in my office this morning. For a long time I had it hanging with others on the wall but it must have slipped off. Exactly what I needed today! Funny how I barely noticed it in plain sight but when moving a case, the starry treasure jumped out to greet me from the floor.

A week ago today I came down with a cold. I seriously thought I was beating it but every day the cold has gotten worse and feels like its beating me. I spent the past two nights in my recliner, upright to contain the cough. 

I made myself a promise to slow down this holiday season and not stress out, so Ive been working at Christmas shopping etc. at a modified pace. This may not have served me well. Now I have Christmas cards to write ( I haven't even bought them yet), a tree to choose and decorate, gifts to finish and wrap ... well you know the drill.

Instead I've been reading holiday novels, watching a few Christmas movies and going back over my journals of the past year. 

And I haven't finished my shopping! I tried the online thing this week. I had the perfect gift in mind for a grandchild. I even found the color! Alas, out of stock. I tried several other places to no avail. Everyone must have the same idea. Finally I managed to get all the way through to checkout with a second choice only to find they wouldn't ship to me internationally. Internationally? What? Seriously? I'm right here in the States. Hello?!

Here I am on this beautiful unusual spring-like Sunday in northern Maine, housebound, sick and stressed. 

Hence the card.

Perspective, girl, perspective! 

With all that's happening in our world, I count my blessings today.