The Voices in My Head

All signs point to SICK.

Sign number one is an unmade bed. I make my bed every morning unless I'm sick.

Sign number two is the mess. Dishes in the sink, towels that have been in the dryer for two days, and the scattered pile of resources beside my chair. The pile = kleenex, saline spray, tea, journal, pens and a list of encouraging scriptures.

Messes one and two are fixable. My concern is number three -the jumbled words in my head. 

What am I doing wrong? Why am I sick again? How can I dream and grow and live wholeheartedly when I keep getting knocked down? 

A voice disguised as mine subtlely tormented me with doubt. 

Early Sunday morning I opened my Bible to Hebrews 10:35. 

"Don't throw away your confidence. It will be richly rewarded." 

Hmm.

Next I visited a few favorite blogs, coming across this post.

As I was reading, I heard another Voice.

"You've taken a step away." 

I knew immediately what that meant. I'd stepped away from love,  grace,  trust and rest.

I step back in. 

Simple as a prayer. 

I step back in.

April Snow Showers and Grateful Moments

"A woman's mind plans her way but God directs her steps."

I sailed through Monday and Tuesday, accomplishing everything on my list in order to go away with hubby the next day. On Wednesday morning I awoke feeling unusually exhausted, thankful our plans were delayed by weather. By suppertime, I knew I was fighting the cold going around; yesterday I spent watching movies in my jammies.

Today I dragged out of bed an hour and a half past my usual time only to open my blinds to snowflakes falling from dreary skies. My throat ached, my sinuses and ears throbbed and discouragement knocked at my door.

God has a plan, I reminded myself. I turned to the stack of BVOV magazines I'd been meaning to catch up on. By the time I'd finished the February abbreviated issue, discouragement was racing off my property.

Re-focus on gratitude. What a great intention for today!

I am grateful for my warm, cozy home and the freedom to be here and rest.

I am grateful for hubby bringing me lunch today. 

I'm grateful this is April and Spring peeking around the corner. 

I'm grateful for the freedom we still have to enjoy Christian ministries in this country when Christianity is being bombarded throughout the world. I don't take this lightly.

I'm grateful for my family and God's promises in Psalm 91 I pray everyday over them.

I'm grateful for Heavenly Garden moments with Jesus.

I'm grateful for the few faithful people who continue to read this blog. Sending showers of blessing thoughts  your way today.

Make a Play Date!

Brene' Brown says that PLAY is an important part of living a wholehearted life! Last night I got into bed with peppermint tea and a new book. Before I dove into the book, I spent a half hour arranging lens and films with a new filter in my Hipstamatic app on my iPhone and snapping pics. What fun!

I know it's Sunday and I usually attempt a more inspirational post. Today my word to you is "Make Time for Play" this week; even 15 minutes can bring a smile to your face. When was the last time you grinned broadly?

To see a couple more shots, check out my post on Fearless Lines today.

Playing the Trump Card

My choice of living with intention as a theme for April blogging keeps evading me, mainly because  living with intention this month has been a challenge!

My April days filled up quickly with furnace problems demanding service, finding creative ways to rid my home of skunk scent, a glitch in my back and an unexpected funeral. I discovered that intentional living doesn't necessarily mean I reach every goal right away. Living on purpose  calls me back to focus in the in-between times of life surprises.

My writing course, the Conscious Booksmith came to an end and I barely touched my laptop or my journal all week! Intention demanded I break it out today, along with journals for research. I'd typed one sentence when a good friend phoned. I answered the call with delight for we hadn't talked in months. 

You see, my over-riding intention is to live with joy. Joy trumps duty, guilt, slow-melting snowbanks, the temptation to complain (most days) and even writing occasionally.

I See Colors!

My Writer's Notebooks & Fun Stuff

 I existed for years on a path parallel to my authentic life. Close but not close enough. I stumbled over questions like "What is your favorite color or what color are your eyes?" Seriously! Check out this post from 2009 in my old blog. I can't imagine it either!

I know who I am now and I'm not trying to be someone different. What a journey this has been!

 I am living more purposefully. I recently made a  commitment to two writer's classes, pressing me to devote time to writing each day. I am not shoving writing to the back burner anymore thinking it can wait because it's not urgent. Writing is important to me so there is value in the time I spend in the practice. 

I am living intentionally. This winter I weeded out old stuff from my house, things I don't love or use anymore. I only buy what I love now and of course, books, books, and books!

My OLW for 2015 is "unscripted." Since letting go of the scripts in my head, my life has become more focused. Focused, not inflexible. As I grow in this surprising grace, guilt unclenches it's grasp from my mind and heart. 

I am more often choosing joy, spending less time in worry. (I haven't mastered this but I'm learning.)

And my eyes are still blue! 

Easter in the Snow

Happy Easter