~ Miracles still happen
Almost four years ago Lily didn't speak, make eye contact, interact with others, function in crowds etc. In May she played "Mary had a Little Lamb" on the piano, sang with her class and enjoyed it- all in a crowded auditorium.
|Ending with an adorable curtsy!|
~ I don't always understand what God is doing.
Several years ago when my daughter entered the military and moved across country, I was confused and discouraged. The years ensuing proved difficult for her. Now in the Reserves, she makes monthly treks (6 hour drive one way) to do weekend stints. Somehow Saturday night, it all seemed worth the sacrifices she and her family make, as she counseled for the Vet Center at the traveling Viet Nam Wall. My heart overflowed with emotion and pride.
~ Say yes to me. I matter.
I've been doing a lot of inner work over the winter - identifying thought patterns, shedding old reactions and choosing to listen to the rhythms of my body and soul. I spent decades hoping others would care about what matters to me. The practice of putting others first and me last almost always is catching up with me and its not feeling good physically or mentally. I honestly thought God expected this of me. Now I realize the balance is that He places value on me, as well. I need to do the same in my choices not mere words.
In May I read Shonda Rhimes book "Year of Yes." Even though I don't agree with some of her values, this book was perfectly timed for my life in this season. I am saying yes to me in a lot of little things and shedding old resentment and habits along the way.
~ Living in tension between faith and mystery continues.
I still struggle with physical issues and food. The old what-to-eat-what-not-to continues to plague me.
My latest plan is to eat more alkaline foods. Lunch consisted of roast turkey on romaine, carrots and garlic hummus, and beets. I snuck in a GF cookie at the end. Now I feel bloated and yuck.
Bill Johnson is one of my favorite authors and preachers. He has a ministry where countless healing have been experienced yet two weeks ago he underwent a serious surgery.
There are no formulas when it comes to my walk with God. I continue to live in the tension between faith and mystery, trusting God along the way.
I'm happy to report Spring has finally arrived here in northern Maine with all its green, lush beauty and swarming black flies.